Why Do Men Send Unsolicited Penis Pics??

banana1I will be completely honest here…I am not used to writing anything quite like this, but I felt like it was necessary given the rising popularity of this…um…romantic strategy. Sooo…call them penis photos, dick pics, junk snaps or whatever you’re (un)comfortable with, but get ready, because this article is the definitive explanation for why guys send these pics and it is definitely NSFW.

This is article is mainly for women who are confused about this phenomenon and for guys who are ever thinking about sending such a pic. By the way, if you are too lazy to read past this sentence…guys, don’t send them.

It almost seems like an online epidemic these days. In certain seemingly innocent areas of the Internet – dating apps, kik, snapchat, skype, even Facebook and Twitter – guys will strike up a conversation with a girl and – boom! – the girl receives an unsolicited (and crappy quality) photo of that guy’s nether regions, sometimes without any warning whatsoever. And no doubt he is on his phone feeling proud of himself, waiting for her to respond with enthusiasm instead of her blocking him instantly, which is what usually happens.

So, why would any normal guy send an unsolicited photo of his private parts??

Well, here goes the scientific and social reasons some guys think this is a good idea…

1. They Have No Social Skills

Socially functional people assume other people are also socially functional. However, that isn’t always the case. While most parents don’t pull aside their children when they come of age and say, “Son, let me teach you how to fish – and not send unsolicited dick pics,” they do teach their kids basic manners. But, not all parents are very good at it, and others don’t teach their kids anything about dating and attraction.

So, unfortunately, not all guys learned that sending strangers photos of their junk isn’t exactly polite behavior. Nor, as I will cover below, is it attractive behavior.

The lesson for guys here is to sharpen your social skills rather than your close-up photography skills. Unless you are in a relationship with a woman and she asks for it, don’t send photos of this nature. In fact, I suggest never sending photos like that for a variety of reasons.

2. They Get Way Too Confident Because of the Anonymity

What I have discovered about guys who tend to send photos like this is that they are often very insecure and awkward in the real world, but online they suddenly become confident. So, these guys are mainly dateless in reality, but online they think they are smooth. But, as women know, creeps with confidence are still creeps…confidence just turns them into super creeps. And that is what you are getting with guys who send these photos.

Sometimes I just want to ask these guys, “does that ever work to get a date?” Sending below the belt photos as a dating strategy likely has a success rate somewhere between a random telemarketing call and a Jehovah’s Witness door knock at 7:00 AM on a Saturday morning. In other words, the success rate is so close to zero it might as well be zero. So, keep in mind that these guys likely aren’t bad people per se, but rather socially clueless dudes emboldened by (seeming) anonymity.

The lesson for guys here is to start developing confidence in real life (combined with social skills) and don’t think because you can hide behind a mobile device you can suddenly become an (confident) idiot.

3. It Turns Them On

It could be a type of exhibitionism for some guys, which magnifies the creepiness element even more. Obviously sending perverted pelvic pics to strangers is sexual in nature, so it makes sense some guys aren’t trying to impress women so much as be looking for a quick cheap thrill.

The lesson for guys here is keep your exhibitionism to a minimum. Sending penis photos could constitute harassment and may even be illegal (how do you even know the recipient is legally “of age,” for example?). Instead, guys meet a real life woman to fulfill your fantasies, and stop getting a quick and cheap thrill at the expense of one you’ll never have a chance with.

4. They Think Women Think Like Men

This image is from the portfolio of "digitalart," courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This image is from the portfolio of “digitalart,” courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

This is the main reason guys send photos of their “little ding dings” (I heard a dad use this term with his son the other day when I was at a water park so I just had to use it): because they think that women think just like men. Men are very visual when it comes to attraction. This is why men are by far the main consumers of visual pornography, and why studies show guys’ brains pretty much turn to mush around a pretty girl.

Women, on the other hand, are more attracted to a guy’s personality and overall package (no, not *that* package). That is why women are by far the largest consumers of written porn, i.e. erotica and romance novels, which present men as good looking with complex personalities. So, a woman is much more likely to be turned on a guy who comes across as funny, confident, powerful, mysterious, and flirtatious than viewing a photo of his junk.

Unfortunately, guys don’t often understand this male and female difference. Virtually every straight man would welcome receiving a random, unsolicited nude photo from an attractive woman. So, these guys assume women are the same way. In a kind of twisted, creepy, and clueless way they are following the golden rule (not that Jesus ever directly addressed the issue of course). These guys don’t realize how these photos actually have the opposite effect, and turn women off.

Guys, the lesson is to start studying how women view attraction and make some real changes based on that – mainly working on your personality.

So, combine awkwardness, overconfidence combined with that awkwardness, and a misunderstanding of female attraction and sexuality, and you have an epidemic of bandwidth being used to transmit a bunch of horrible photos of male genitalia. Fortunately, the time and effort to learn these facts isn’t too long and hard…and that is the first and only pun of this type I’m going to make in this article. I promise. In fact, I’m kind of shocked I made it this far and only used one.

About David Bennett

David Bennett is author of seven self-help books, and an in-demand speaker and consultant. Over a million readers per year read his online content, and his writings have been referenced in many publications and news outlets, including Girls Life, Fox News, the New York Times, Huffington Post, and BBC. He also writes for The Popular Teen, and other sites. Follow him on Twitter.

Leave a Reply