When I was in college I had a laundry list of reasons why I was single. Here are a few:
- Girls my age were immature
- They didn’t recognize a good guy and only wanted jerks
- There weren’t enough quality venues.
- Every girl seemed to have a boyfriend either at school or back home.
There were more, of course, but they all had one thing in common: they focused on external factors. Although I recognized that I had certain deficiencies at times, I never felt that I truly needed to make any radical changes in my life. My dating woes were always the problem of “someone else.” And, I expected them to change to accommodate me.
It sounds foolish, but it’s the dating method of many single guys. They’ve believed the lie of “just be yourself” and everything will work out just fine. Of course, any self-aware person (not me at the time) could tell you, if you’re not getting dates consistency, then the problem might not be women, venues, or boyfriends. It’s likely you!
As a man (and women too), your dating life is in your hands. While external factors play a role for sure, the ultimate success or failure in dating rests solely on the individual. If you’re a guy who’s been making excuses for years and blaming others, it might wound your pride to admit that. However, knowing that you control your dating future is ultimately liberating.
You can’t change alleged immaturity, the preference of some women for bad boys (which is real), the lack of venues, and the presence of boyfriends. Those are outside of anyone’s control. However, the ability to enact personal change to become more attractive to women is completely within a guy’s power. And, it’s very possible.
The problem is most guys don’t want to put the work in that is necessary to have meaningful change. But, it’s well worth it. The traits that women find attractive are also the traits that lead to success in life: confidence, charm, wealth, power, etc. So, not only will making important changes lead to more success with women, but they will make you more generally successful as well.
Let’s look at ways a guy can respond to the external factors listed above:
- Be the mature, older guy type with the immature girls
- Develop a confident edge and show them what a real man looks like
- Meet women anywhere you go; every town has venues and women
- If they’re not married and her boyfriend sucks, be better than he is and make her want you
If you’re truly interested in change, we can help. Check out our books and media, and, if you’re in Ohio, our consulting packages. If you don’t want to do that at this time, then check back often for our free tips and advice. Your dating life is in your hands. Take charge and find some success.